


Learning to Live

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 00:44:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16336508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: AJ McLean was a college student who was striving to be normal after a unique childhood. He had met four best friends, who became like brothers to him. What happens when his childhood comes out, and his brothers find out his darkest secret.





	Learning to Live

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AJ centered fic, that I took some liberties in writing. I actually enjoyed writing this, and hope it brought out a different side to AJ, rather than the playboy persona of the late 90's/early 2000's. It is definitely AU, and I hope you all enjoy it. As always I do not own the boys and all rights go to them and their management. This work is pure fiction.

Alexander James (AJ) McLean was a typical post graduate student, working on his Master's in Education, with dreams of being a college professor one day. He was twenty-three years old, and one year away from getting his degree, and going onto a PhD. He wanted the doctorate so it would give him an edge when he applied for teaching jobs. AJ had gone to college across the country from where his family was in Florida. After having a unique childhood, he wanted to feel normal while attending college. His family lived in Del Ray Beach, Florida, and AJ attended college at the University of California, Irvine. He had made four close friends while in college, who all stuck around to complete their own Master’s degrees in various fields. His friends, Kevin Richardson, Brian Littrell, Howard (Howie) Dorough, and Nickolas (Nick) Carter were more like his brothers, and the five had gotten a three-bedroom apartment together, with each of them paying their own part. AJ had gotten close to each of them, but he was reluctant to open up about his childhood and family. The only thing the other four knew was that AJ had a younger sister who was fourteen, and that AJ had had a difficult upbringing. The thing that AJ never told the guys was that his sister, Ella, was severely disabled and AJ felt that he had been the reason for her problems. 

Twelve years earlier, AJ had taken two-year-old Ella outside to their backyard to play. They had a large swing set to play on, with a sandbox and water table. The family also had a large inground pool, that was not fenced in, to enjoy. Eleven-year-old AJ had been playing in the sandbox, and thought Ella was right next to him at the water table. Five minutes had passed and he hadn’t heard Ella’s constant chatter, and looked up from his sandcastle to see that Ella was nowhere to be found. He jumped up and started calling her name. There was no response, and AJ was close to the pool. He looked in, and to his horror, Ella was floating in the pool. He jumped in and grabbed her, and ran inside to his mother. She heard his screams, and immediately started performing CPR and told AJ to call 911. He ran for the telephone, and told the operator his name, what happened, and their address. The kind operator told him that the ambulance and police were on their way, and AJ hung up. Five minutes later, sirens were in their driveway, and EMT’s took over the CPR and rushed Ella to the hospital. AJ’s mother told him to call his father, and to stay at the house until he got home. AJ called his dad, who rushed home and rushed the two of them to the hospital. He left AJ in the waiting room to find his wife, leaving AJ to his thoughts. AJ blamed himself for Ella’s accident. He started telling himself that he didn’t take care of his sister, and was more worried about his stupid sandcastle than paying attention to where his sister was. Even now, twelve years after the accident, he still completely blamed himself for what happened to Ella, and no one could tell him differently. He knew that he would have to take care of Ella after his parents were gone, but he hoped that was years away. He wanted time to be himself, selfish as that may be, without having to take care of his sister. Little did AJ know, that time was coming sooner than expected. 

Twelve years after the accident, Ella was severely disabled. She had suffered an anoxic brain injury, due to being underwater for more than five minutes.  Ella suffered seizures, cortical visual impairment, had difficulties with speech, had tremors in her muscles which meant that she was in a wheelchair. She also had severe memory issues, and could not live independently, requiring care for everything, even personal care. Her mother had quit her job to take care of her daughter, and had help from visiting nurses, but between her and her husband, did the majority of Ella’s care. They very rarely had date nights, not wanting to leave their daughter alone with nurses. It was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, and AJ’s father, Robert, had wanted to take his wife out to celebrate. Denise initially turned him down, but after realizing it had been more than eighteen months since they last went out together, took him up on his idea. They left Ella with her nurses, who Denise had trusted for years, and went out to have a nice dinner and catch a movie. They never made it home. Robert and Denise were involved in a car accident that was caused by a drunk driver, and were killed on impact, leaving AJ and Ella behind. 

Three hours later, AJ was startled awake by his phone ringing. He blearily opened his eyes, reached for his phone, and with a yawn, answered his phone. A voice he thought he recognized on the other end if this was AJ McLean. AJ responded that this was he, and what was going on. The voice, which turned out to be Ella’s nurse Aubrey, who AJ remembered meeting just before he left for college, told AJ that she had bad news to tell him. Aubrey told AJ that his parents had been killed three hours earlier in a car accident. AJ dropped the phone, which woke up Nick, who he shared the room with. Nick saw the shocked look on AJ’s face, and picked up his phone to speak to Aubrey. After telling Nick what had happened, Aubrey told Nick that AJ had to come back to Florida to take care of Ella. Nick was confused and asked what Aubrey meant by that. Aubrey clammed up and told Nick that AJ had to be the one to explain what was going on. After telling Aubrey that he would make sure AJ got back to Florida safely, he hung up the phone and looked at said man. AJ was still in his shocked state, and Nick touched his shoulder, which snapped him out of it. Tears started pouring out of him, and Nick asked if AJ wanted him to get the others. By this point AJ had curled up on his bed, crying his heart out. Through his tears he croaked out a wet “yes”, and Nick ran to wake up Howie, Kevin, and Brian. The four of them ran back into Nick and AJ’s room to sit with AJ as he cried himself out. 

Thirty minutes later, AJ had cried himself hoarse, and the four hugged their brother as he tried to calm down a little bit. AJ knew that Nick now knew about Ella, and that he had to tell his brothers about his little sister. He got up to clean his face, and asked Brian to find a flight for him to get back to Florida. Luckily, it was summer, so none of them were in classes. Brian promised to find him a flight, and Howie and Kevin offered to help him pack, which AJ accepted. Nick hesitantly asked about his sister, and AJ told them to go to the living room, and he would explain about his childhood, and why he rarely talked about his family. The four made their way to the living room, and AJ grabbed his glasses, since it was the middle of the night, he didn’t want to put his contacts back in. He went to the kitchen first to grab a glass of water to rehydrate, and walked into the living room. The boys had scattered themselves among the couches and bean bags they had, and AJ chose a spot to sit where he could see them all. He took a deep breath, and explained about what had happened twelve years earlier. He recalled what had happened that fateful day, for he had never forgotten. He explained what life was like for Ella now, and all of the medical issues she had. The four men were shocked. AJ revealed that after the accident, life had completely changed for him. He was basically left to raise himself, with his parents constantly looking after Ella. He clarified that he didn’t resent Ella in the least, but wished that his parents had paid a little more attention to him. He acted out in high school, wanting attention in any form, but realized that he had to get away from it all. He cleaned up his act and aced his final two years and won a scholarship to UofC, Irvine, and never looked back. 

He told his brothers that since his parents were now gone, he had to take over the care of Ella, and leave school to go back to Florida. Howie, Nick, Kevin, and Brian offered to go with him to Florida, to help him get settled and get through the funerals for his parents. Looking at the guys, AJ was stunned that they would offer, and told them that they didn’t have to, but it would be amazing if they did. They told him that they would go, and asked AJ if they could meet his sister. This floored AJ completely, he never expected that. With tears in his eyes, he nodded his head. After AJ hugged each of them, Brian went to his computer to find flights for all of them. An hour later, they had tickets for a flight leaving early the next morning, which would get them to Florida by ten am. The five of them spent the rest of the day packing, AJ packing slightly more than them, since he would be staying in Florida for the foreseeable future. They grabbed pizza for dinner, and watched movies until they fell asleep. 

Early the next morning they made their way to the airport, and a few hours later found themselves in Florida. AJ rented a van, and drove to his parent’s home. He had spoken to Aubrey, who told him that she and another nurse were staying with Ella until he got there. As AJ parked the van, he turned to the boys and told them to follow his lead when it came to his sister. They got out of the van and followed AJ into the home. Aubrey came up to AJ and told him that his sister was having a better day than usual, and led him to her bedroom. As AJ opened the door, Ella heard it open, and asked who was there. AJ responded that it was him, and Ella started calling for him to come to her. The four men watched AJ approach his sister and gently hug her. They took in Ella’s appearance and looked around her room. She was practically a clone of AJ, just the female version. The boys noticed her wheelchair, and the adaptive equipment that she used daily. As they finished looking at everything, they heard AJ telling Ella about them. AJ told Ella that his best friends had come to meet her, and would she like to meet them? Ella responded positively, and AJ turned to his brothers, and told them to come up one at a time, so Ella could meet them. 

Kevin went first, and had to kneel so that Ella could see him properly. He said Hello, and Ella told him that he had very big eyebrows. That sent the five of them chuckling, with Kevin agreeing with Ella. Howie went next, and Ella loved how soft Howie’s skin was, as she held his hand. Nick came up and introduced himself. Ella, keeping hold of Howie’s hand, reached her other hand out to Nick and Nick squeezed it. Ella told him that his eyes were pretty. Brian took his turn, and Ella innocently asked if he and Nick were twins, because they looked a lot alike to her. Brian laughed and said no, but Nick was definitely his brother. All four gentlemen had fallen in love with Ella. As AJ looked on, watching his brothers' bond with his sister, he had a gentle smile on his face. All of a sudden, Ella started having a mild seizure, and AJ went into action, the procedure to help Ella through it burned in his brain. He asked Kevin to grab a medication that was next to Ella’s bed, and Kevin handed it to him. The four boys watched AJ swiftly administer the medicine, and watched as Ella’s seizure lessened. Howie asked Aubrey, who had remained for the rest of the day, how many times a day that happened to Ella. Aubrey responded with as little as two or sometimes ten to fifteen a day, depending on severity. AJ watched as his brothers realized exactly what AJ was facing now, and couldn’t blame them if they decided to leave after the funerals. 

AJ knew he had to get in contact with the University and officially withdraw from his Master’s program, and try to find one in Florida, that would accept him. He also had to have a serious discussion with the guys about what to do with his part of owning the apartment. Between that and trying to plan his parent’s funerals, AJ was beyond stressed out. The other four helped him as much as they could, and three days after they arrived in Florida, AJ’s parents’ funerals were held. It was a cloudy day, perfect weather for this type of event. As AJ pushed his sister’s wheelchair towards their parents’ final resting place, he couldn’t help the tears that poured down his face. Ella seemed to understand that her parents weren’t coming back, and that AJ was taking care of her now. The four men watched their best friend and his sister lay their parents to rest. They each thanked God that they still had their families, and knew that they would be having a long conversation with each of their families that night. 

The group got back to AJ’s home after the funerals, and after everyone in AJ’s extended family left a few days later, the four men sat in Kevin’s guest room to talk, while AJ spent time with Ella, and helped get her ready for bed. They looked at each other, and simultaneously stated that they wanted to stay in Florida to help AJ out long term. As they each said it, the men broke out into smiles. During their conversations with their families, they had discussed the idea of them transferring to colleges in Florida to complete their degrees, and give AJ the help that he needed. Brian and Howie were going for degrees in the business field, while Nick and Kevin were going for degrees in law. Their families were supportive of the idea, since all five men were extremely responsible, and were model students. The four men knew they’d have to make one last trip out to California to settle their apartment, pack, and ship everything back to AJ’s place. They would ask AJ if they could live with him temporarily, while they looked for an apartment nearby for the four of them. This would also put them closer to their own families, since Howie’s family also lived in Florida, and Brian and Kevin’s family were only six hours away by car in Kentucky. Nick had been disowned by his family after high school, so that was a non-issue. Now came the hard part, convincing AJ that they were staying in Florida, and not doing it out of pity for him, but to genuinely help him out, and be closer to their own families.

Later that night, after Ella fell asleep, the five gathered in AJ’s living room. They had put on the local sports channel as background noise, and were chatting about inconsequential things. After a little while, AJ asked when the other four were leaving. Brian casually stated that they had flights back to California in three days, but would be back in Florida three weeks later for good. Brian then asked Nick about the college he had looked up for him and Kevin to attend that had a good law program nearby, while the impact of Brian’s casual statement caught up to AJ. He told Brian to hold on, and repeat what he said. Howie spoke up and repeated Brian’s statement. AJ asked what was going on. Kevin said that the four of them had talked, and decided that they would all transfer to colleges in Florida to help AJ out, and be closer to their families. AJ was flabbergasted. He protested their plan, and told them that they didn’t have to uproot their lives just for him. Nick explained that they weren’t doing it just for him, they were doing it for Ella as well. All four of them had fallen in love with Ella, and were willing to learn what was necessary to help AJ take care of her, so that they didn’t have to rely so heavily on Aubrey and the other nurses. They also wanted to be closer to their families, especially Howie, Brian and Kevin. Howie was now going to be less than an hour from his parents, and Brian and Kevin only had to take a six-hour car ride around the holidays to see their families, instead of a more expensive plane ride. AJ started tearing up, and asked the four guys if they were absolutely sure about doing this. Howie said yes, if he was willing to put them up for a bit until they found an apartment. AJ countered that they didn’t have to do that if they didn’t want to, that they could permanently stay with him, as long as they wanted to. The five came to an agreement, and soon went off to bed. 

Three days later, after bonding more with Ella, Nick, Brian, Kevin, and Howie left to go back to California to finish things up there and pack everything to move across country to Florida. AJ took care of Ella, and transferred colleges to another Master’s program at Florida Atlantic University, where Brian and Howie had also chosen to transfer to as well. Kevin and Nick would be transferring to Nova Southeastern University to complete their law degrees. Both Kevin and Nick wanted to go into family law after graduation.  Brian would be getting his Master’s in Health Administration, while Howie would be completing his Master’s in Business Administration. AJ was getting his Master’s in Educational Leadership. The three were unsure of what they wanted to do after graduating, but were focused on their studies for now. AJ had opted to take online classes, so that he could be home for Ella. Things were getting settled into place, and AJ couldn’t wait until his brothers got back to Florida. 

A month later, and the house was as lively as ever, with five college age boys, and one teenage girl with medical issues living together. AJ and Ella still had days where they struggled with their grief, it was especially hard with Ella, since she sometimes forgot that her parents were gone, and it was almost like she restarted her grieving process all over again. That was the toughest part for AJ. Nick, Howie, Kevin, and Brian helped out as much as they could. Luckily, AJ’s parents had left a will, with a substantial amount of money that they had inherited that would help AJ take care of Ella for life. The five men prepared to start classes again, and AJ learned to juggle his classes with taking care of Ella. They both found a routine that worked, and with the assistance of the guys and Aubrey along with the rest of the nurses, AJ and Ella started to live life again. They would always hold their parents close to their hearts, and would always have harder days, but they knew their parents wanted them to live their lives, and not wallow in their grief. 

A year after the accident, AJ got his Master’s degree, and celebrated with his sister and brothers who had also gotten their degrees. They had a quiet memorial for AJ’s parents, and time went on. Eventually each of the four guys found full time jobs, significant others, and moved out into their own places. They all stayed close to AJ’s home, and their significant others knew how important Ella was to them, and knew that they might have to race over there if they were needed. AJ found a job teaching at FAU three days a week, which was perfect, and gave him time to take care of Ella as well. AJ eventually married and had his own children. He continued to take care of Ella, until she passed away at the age of 36 due to complications from her brain injury. Forty-five-year-old AJ grieved the loss of Ella very much, and his brothers grieved with him. He now had three angels in his life, and vowed to live the rest of his life in their honor. His children grew, and AJ became a doting grandfather. Forty-eight years after Ella passed away, Alexander James McLean passed away at the age of the ripe age of ninety-three. He met Ella and his parents on the other side, along with Howie and Kevin. He waited for his wife and Nick and Brian, and went on the next great adventure with his entire family together at last.  


End file.
